How To Use Essential Oils For Self-Esteem – The Heart Softener

Posted: September 15, 2011 by Cristina Proano-Carrion

What is a “heart softener” and why is it called so?

Years ago, I was giving a class to a group of women in Ecuador. One of the ladies in her 50s was very beautiful in her looks, make up and clothes.  She told us that her husband would ask her why she puts on make-up when she was so ugly anyways.  He would be verbally abusive with her and she needed something to “calm him down”.

I made a blend using Geranium oil, Clary Sage oil , Lavender oil  and Grapefruit oil  and she bought 5 bottles of that blend!

For your information, 5 bottles of 10ml each of a blend means around 1000 drops of oils!

Since essential oils are used in small quantities, I knew that 5 bottles of the blend were going to last her for a while.  And they did. 

Around a year later, I met her at the airport when both of us were traveling from Quito to Miami.  She asked me, “Do you remember me, and my story?”“Yes, I do remember!” I replied.“Well”, she said, “as soon as I came back home I started to put the blend in diffusers all over the house.  Religiously!  In the beginning my husband reacted negatively, rather angry at the smell. He was yelling that something was going on in the house. Nevertheless, I kept ‘perfuming’ the house quietly.”

She told me that it took a few months before her husband began to change his attitude. He became less angry and finally, she showed me her air ticket.  Her husband was waiting for her in Miami – they were going together on their second honeymoon to Europe and then to Israel, which had always been her dream!

Her story inspired me to share the blend with many others who benefited from it. It is called RADIARE.

I’ve told this story for years, several times everywhere. One day a client of mine told me that she had recommended this blend to one of her patients who had an aggressive teenage son. The woman used the oil at home and noticing the positive changes in her son’s behavior, began calling it “the heart softener”.

What makes this blend work?

This blend is made of essential oils that come from flowers (Clary Sage and Lavender) and a leaf essential oil with a very strong flowery scent (Geranium). 

Flowers have a feminine nature; the flowery scents appeal more to women than men. 

A flower is a representation of beauty; we keep flowers in our homes to make them look more beautiful, right? 

An essential oil with a flowery nature will help us appreciate our own beauty as well as that around us.

In the first case, I think the lady lacked self-esteem, since her husband constantly told her she was ugly.  The consistent use of these essential oils allowed her to express how beautiful she was and be more confident.  I suppose her husband could perceive that and therefore started to respect her.

We know that people have both masculine and feminine sides, and flowery scents invoke the feminine side.  In this case, when the husband’s feminine side was stimulated, he became more compassionate.

I feel the same happened with the kid.  The calming, relaxing properties of Clary Sage, Geranium and Lavender must have helped him get in touch with his feminine side and he became a calmer person.

These may be hypotheses, but I know it worked and I know that those who use this blend have conveyed to me how much it helps – especially on days when we do not know why our mood is down, or why we are grumpy for no reason.

How about giving it a try yourself?

© 2011, Cristina Proano-Carrion, Aromandina LLC
This information is based on traditional use of aromatherapy and it does not intend to diagnose or treat any condition. This information should not be used as a substitute for medical counseling with a health care professional. No part of this article may be reproduced in whole or in part without the explicit written permission of Aromandina.

  • Nicole


    You mentioned that the original blend has grapefruit in it.

    Can you shed some lights as to why grapefruit is added because there was no mention in the article.

    Many thanks!

  • Grapefruit is a great anti-depressant and it helps to cheer you up.

  • Milana

    Thanks so much for shrine this. So inspiring! What are the proportions for this recipe, including the grapefruit?

  • P R

    Do you sell the blend or the recipe?